Cartman really does suck
by CurrentWay
Summary: Cartman has a humiliating photo of him and will make sure that NO ONE ever finds it, especially the Jew.. First Fanfic so be nice :) Please review and enjoy! Rated T for language.


**Hey there! So this is my first FanFic. I really hope you enjoy it. May not be my best but hopefully that will change. :) Please review (constructive criticism is encouraged) Enjoy!**

(Based on "Cartman Sucks")

Kyle Brofloski has always hated Eric Cartman. Eric was self-centered, racist, and most notably an anti-Semite. The fact that he loves to humiliate people just makes the matters that much worse. But seeing how Eric is humiliating Butters in his sleep makes Kyle even more disgusted.

Kyle waits at the bus stop with Stan and Kenny as usual. He looks around. The fatass hasn't shown yet. Good. _Maybe I might have a good day today_, Kyle thought.

"Hahaha! Oh my god you guys! I finally got him!" Eric ran over to the 3 other boys and doubles over laughing. Kyle rolls his green eyes. "What are you talking about?" Eric looks at Kyle and then starts laughing again. "I got Butters SO good this time. Look, I took a picture with Butters' dick in my mouth!" Eric said proudly. "That makes him gay!" Eric stated. He shows the other 3 boys the picture. All of other boys' mouth dropped open in horror. "Oh my god, dude! That makes YOU gay." Kyle said.

"What." Eric said flatly. "Yeah dude. YOU'RE gay now." Kyle said. "No. No. NO! I'm not gay! It was just a mistake! I'm not gay! Oh my god, how do I fix this?" Eric asked in a panic. A small smile flashed across Kyle's face. He knew that Cartman was a small-minded idiot and could be tricked into anything.

"Well there is ONE way to fix this…" Eric looked up. "There is? How?" "Well, the only way you can fix this is if you put your dick in Butter's mouth." Eric thought for while. "Oh shit I have to find Butters!" Eric sprinted toward the end of the street and turned the corner. Kyle looked at the direction in which Eric ran toward. Kyle just shook his head in extreme discontent.

Eric slammed his bedroom door. "Goddamnit!" he screamed. He couldn't get Butters to take the picture. Not after Butters' father walking in and seeing what he was trying to do to Butters. _Oh well_, he thought. _At least I still have the other picture. Now all I have to do is make sure no one finds this photo_. He opened his desk drawer and saw that the uncomfortable picture was missing. _No,_ he thought. _No this isn't possible. No! Where is the picture_, he thought. _Where could it be? _He frantically started searching all around his room._ Unless_, he thought. His eyes widened. _No. No, no,_ he thought. _That sneaky little JEW! He stole it! Oh he's probably laughing it up. How the hell could he have gotten in here? Well, I'll just have to pay that little Jew a visit. _

"You motherfucker!" said a voice from behind. Kyle turned around to see Eric shoving him at full force. Kyle fell down is the soft cold snow. "Dude what the hell?" Kyle yelled as he got back up. "You know what I'm talking about, Kyle. The picture. Now hand it over so you can make this easier on both of us," Eric said. "What? What picture?" Kyle said with a half confused and half angry face as he was wiping snow off of his jacket. "Don't you play dumb with me you stupid Jew rat!" Eric barked. He grabbed Kyle by his jacket and held him close to his face. "Dude stop! Let me down!" Kyle said loudly. He kept squirming until Eric brought his face dangerously close to Kyle's. "Listen to me. You give me the picture, or I will make your life a living HELL do you understand me?" Eric threatened through gritted teeth. Kyle looked straight into Eric's light brown eyes. "Would you calm down?! I don't have the picture so stop freaking out and let me go!" Eric dropped Kyle down to the ground. "So help me God I will find that picture!" He turned and ran down the street.

_I can't let Kyle have the satisfaction,_ Eric thought. _I can't. He's going to show the class tomorrow I just know it! Well, two can play at that game. I'll beat him to it. I'll show the class so Kyle won't. That'll wipe that smug little smile off of his face. I'm glad I made a copy earlier. _

The next morning, Eric sat down in his seat before the bell rang. He looked over at Kyle who was talking to Stan about his science project that was due next week. "Oh Kyle!" Eric said in a not-so-sweet voice. Kyle turned and looked at Eric. "What," Kyle responded coldly. Eric then bent slightly closer so that he could whisper to Kyle. "You think you got me. You think you've won. But you're wrong. I'll show you. You'll never win against me," Eric then walked up to Mr. Garrison with a projector. "Mr. Garrison. I would like present something very important to the class." Kyle was at first confused and looked straight at Eric. Then, he remembered. _No, _he thought. _He's not going to do it. He won't. _

"Ladies and gentleman. I would like to show you something very important that relates to current events of today. Some may find it wrong. Others find it odd." Eric took a deep breath and put the copy of the embarrassing photo under the projector light. Nearly all of the kids either gasped or muttered in distaste. Just then, Mr. Mackey walks to the doorway. "Oh Eric, your Mom called and told me to tell you that she found the picture. It was under your bed. Kyle didn't have it. She said you would know what that meant." As Mr. Mackey walked away, Eric looked straight at Kyle. He was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. Kyle's face was a mix of pure disdain and disappointment. He slowly shook his head. "Jesus," Eric whispered.

EPIOLOUGE: Eric sat in his room. He looked outside his window and saw that it started to snow. It was 2 months after the…incident. He suddenly ran out his bedroom and skipped steps then darted out the front door. He ran in the brisk cold air. Once he arrived at the house he knocked on the door. Soon, a dark redheaded boy answered the door. "Hi Kyle," Eric muttered. "Um, hi," Kyle said quickly. "Look, I um, just wanted to say that I'm, um, uh…" Eric's voice trailed off. "What. What did you want to say, Eric?" Kyle waited while Cartman just stood in the snow utterly silent. "You're wasting my time," Kyle said and the shut the door and ran up the steps in his house. Eric stood motionless on Kyle's doorstep. He was confused. _Why did I come to his house, _Eric asked himself. He then remembered why-after the incident, Eric promised himself he would change. He would try to prove it to Kyle by saying he was sorry. He just couldn't bring himself to do so.


End file.
